dim-eyed ship
grounded, left for dead —
standing watch
It may be difficult for people who know me to believe this, but it feels like I am always on the brink of giving up — like I’m that close to giving up on everything, out of sheer frustration. Something keeps whispering, “forget it, dude. Take the blue pill. Tune out, step in line. Everything will be so much easier if you just put on the autopilot.”
I’m pretty sure that’s not true, though. The quittin’ part of me wants me to believe that following “the program” is easy, but the fightin’ part of me keeps telling me to look around and remember what I see: there are all these people who have been left behind by time’s passage, more or less mired in this mindset that keeps them from being able to move forward with their abilities, trying to slog it out until . . . what?
They failed to prepare, like the grasshopper who had to lean on the ants to get through the winter. They can’t work competently in the modern framework, but rather keep doing the same thing they were doing in their youth, with no consideration for what happens to them when they’re run aground by time and circumstance.
Forced into retirement, as it were, by the march of progress. Where’s the incentive for the ants to carry them to the finish line?
I will not be that guy. I refuse to go softly into anything. Indeed, I am on the brink of quitting, but I’m really just looking down. My foot tries to tell me I can’t run anymore, but I won’t let it tell me it’s the end of the line. We’ll see what happens when it stops hurting. Something keeps telling me I should give up on writing too, but I’m obviously too stubborn to let that go.
Bully for you.
(The One-Minute Writer Prompt: True Story | Header image by Alan Levine)
Rob's Surf Report 
OMG… best photo and theme and writing EVER ! “I refuse to go softly into anything”… ! Yes, we seem to be of common Spartan stock, Rob ! =)
I used to reside in Point Reyes Station, in all my surfer, stoner, hippy-glory days… sigh. Cannot tell you how mush the trip down memory lane rejuvenated me today, Rob… many thanks, friend !
Thank you, Tish. Point Reyes sounds like a cool place, I’ll have to make a point to stop there someday when I get out that way. 🙂
Don’t go there unless you plan on crashing for a time… your heart will literally break when you have to leave… =)
I’ll definitely keep that in mind. 🙂
It’s easy to give up in the moment……..until we must live with regret. Don’t do it, Rob. “I wish I had” will always fall short of “I’m glad I did.”
I refuse to give up, Andra. 🙂
There are always moments when we feel “what’s the point” – each step “forwards” actually feels like 7 back – but the truth is – we are just caught in the web of emotions, in the moment.
Something – however intangible or non-defined as it is – keeps us moving forwards – continuing to try – some call it Hope – others Faith – myself – I call it “sheer dumb-ass stubborn as hell stupidity” XD
Actually, it’s probably courage – the courage to let the moment be – to live it – and to renew ourselves the best we can, and start again.
Stasis is death. Change is evolution. Initiations are often painful.
This too shall pass.
Be well and try to have a great weekend. 🙂
You know, I totally missed this comment when it came in.
I hate the way creative endeavors get wrenched away from me by circumstance and the whims of others, and then it feels like I’m creatively dead because I have nothing going on and not the sufficient time to write or even do the online poetry course I signed up for in good faith.
I never give up, not really — but it sure is tempting.