Category: Humor

Is most unnecessary word “the”?

· 24 Comments ·

Today’s Daily Post prompt asks:

If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?

I believe, without a doubt, that the most useless word in the English language is the word “the”, which is also the very first word I would ban from general usage if I were able to do that. I mean, to use that word indicates a single instance of the object “the” is modifying – “the” dog, “the” group – one of each. Coincidentally, the next word(s) I would get rid of is “a” (and “an”), but “the” is a better first choice due to it’s greater length.

So sure, we would be going around sounding like a bunch of Russian immigrants, but can you imagine how much time, money, and text we would save? Books and articles would be significantly shorter, without sacrificing any content. And if, like many other languages, we assumed the default mode of a subject or object to be singular, then articles like “the”, “a”, and “an” really bring nothing to the table – like employees who come to work and consistently goof off all day.

What do you think? Is word “the” necessary thing to have in English language, or not?

Why I love American history class

· Leave a comment ·

Let’s make it short and sweet: I love American history classes because the choices our leaders have made enable me to write stuff like this:

Short Essay: The Battle of the Alamo has reached mythic proportions in popular American History. How did the defenders of the Alamo ultimately open the west for American Expansion in their 13 day battle in February and March of 1836?

“Famous last words” is how we like to describe something that seems like the opening salvo of a losing battle.

It’s ironic, then, that “remember the Alamo!!” is an epithet that might cause us to say that – “famous last words”. That’s probably because the average person doesn’t realize that the Alamo was a battle that we lost; likewise, the average person might not realize that the people who held down the fort in that battle were not at all ready for a fight. One day, they were cleaning their guns like good Texans do, every day (note: a Texan cleans his gun like a person brushes their teeth). Then, someone looks over their wall and says “we’ve got company, guys.”

Unfortunately, “company” had the fort surrounded. Whilst nobody was looking, Spanish troops had marched on the Alamo to prevent Mexicans from being independent. However, it’s obvious that nobody informed Jennifer Lopez de Santa Anna that you don’t mess with Texas. Although he ended up taking the Alamo, which makes perfect sense in light of the fact that it was held by like twenty people, he actually ended up losing the fort to people who couldn’t believe that such a douchebag would drive his own men on a death march across hundreds of miles of desert to attack a fort manned by the cast of Sesame Street. In less than half an hour, Sam Houston’s Texian army took back what was lost, and with Mexican Independence came this rush to organize, which opened the way for American expansion that can only happen when people are so confused about who owns what that they’re willing to drop the issue if you just leave them something. And so it went with Texas, and that’s why you don’t mess with them – like a sleeping bear, you may well be able to sneak past, but just by going near them, you risk getting mauled.

Don’t be that guy.