I don’t even know why I’m publishing this

Cigar on a Windowsill — (Photo credit: iirraa)

Life is made up of all these endeavors, all these things that we intend to do and every move we make with intent to complete some goal. Brush your teeth, drink some whiskey, punch someone on the shoulder, whether or not you realized the minute before that you were going to. But then we have these BIG things – things that are really important, and we hang a lot of meaning on those things and their outcomes.

Like for example, you’re looking to get into your first home (as in buying it.)
A lot of people go out and start looking at houses without realizing they should first go to a bank and get pre-approved for a loan. If you get the pre-approval, my impression is that you’ve got the loan, because this has worked twice for Mme. Ross and me. The whole process is arduous and complex – even when you’re not doing all the paperwork and underwriting – but you get that first step and you might just be golden.

Then there’s the house. The house could fall through for a number of reasons, and so a lot of the stress comes from knowing that if it falls through and it’s your fault, you lose the earnest money you have to put down on the deal; of course, that entails walking away from the purchase, which is why they want that earnest money in the first place – that way, they have assurance that you’re serious about the house. If the house falls through and it’s not your fault, now you have to go looking for another house and start the negotiation process all over again! Close, but no cigar, pal. Go back to start and don’t bother asking the bank for your two hundred bucks (that’s a Monopoly reference – you get your earnest money back in those cases.)

But once you’re in the house it doesn’t end. Since the house we just bought is our second house, we got a nice little bit of money at the closing. So we’re trying to figure out what all needs to be done and what we want to do and have at the new house. Then we actually get plumbers out to plumb in laundry machines in the basement, and they just say they have to come back later and do an estimate because there’s no existing drain or exhaust. So even this little snag becomes a bigger disappointment that it should be.

Sometimes I wish things would just get done. I wish I had more time to get things done. I often feel like I’m this close, but then…
no cigar.

This post was prompted by today’s Daily Post prompt.

93 other responses have posted so far:

37 thoughts on “I don’t even know why I’m publishing this”

El Guapo says:

January 16, 2014 at 1:01 pm

But you aren’t giving up, and all the struggles right at the start will make your new house seem like your new home that much sooner.
(I’m guessing here. I rent.)
(But it sounds inspirational, and you sound like you could use it.)
(Maybe not the parenthetical asides so much.)
(But I have to use a certain amount of them daily, or I lose my endorsement deal.)
(And we wouldn’t want that would we? I mean, I wanna buy a house too one day!)

Reply
1. Rob's Surf Report says:
  
  January 16, 2014 at 11:00 pm
  
  You’re right, though, and I’m really just impatient. It’s a whole process and I think part of me is just like, ‘let’s get this over with and all this money gone because heaven knows none of it is going to pay the medical bills.’ (you have a parenthetical endorsement deal? I’ve been playing both sides of a semicolon / hyphen war, trying to figure out who pays more.) And if you buy a house someday, I hope that it’s upstate with lots of green green grass. 🙂
  
  Reply
N. E. White says:

January 16, 2014 at 1:13 pm

Oh, life is full of disappointments. Try to concentrate on what you can do to move the situation forward. Or maybe, just wash your clothes at a laundry mat? You can always use the time to write or people watch. 🙂

Reply
1. Cimmorene says:
  
  January 16, 2014 at 8:25 pm
  
  At the risk of being smacked, it’s “laundromat” not “laundry mat”
  I hope you’ll pardon me. Sometimes I just cannot keep my mouth shut.
  
  Reply
  1. Rob's Surf Report says:
    
    January 16, 2014 at 8:45 pm
    
    See we have laundry machines already but they’re in the kitchen, of all places. But we brought our own with us and they’re in the basement where they belong. Once those get hooked up we have friends who will take the other set away because they want them and then we can get a dishwasher for that spot and then a cupboard with more counter space.
    
    Reply
  2. Rob's Surf Report says:
    
    January 16, 2014 at 8:46 pm
    
    I should people watch more though.
    
    Reply
  3. N. E. White says:
    
    January 17, 2014 at 9:57 am
    
    Correction accepted! 🙂
    
    You know, though, I do say “laundry mat”, which is why I wrote it (typing too fast, as always).
    
    Thanks for the correction, though. Something else I need to watch out for! 🙂
    
    Reply
    1. Cimmorene says:
      
      January 17, 2014 at 7:01 pm
      
      Thanks for accepting my impulsive correction with such good humor. I appreciate it.
      
      Reply
Mme Ross says:

January 16, 2014 at 1:40 pm

I believe it was supposed to happen this way, honestly the plumber came today on accident he wasn’t supposed to be here until next Thursday anyway. So we might get everything done quicker than if he had shown up next Thursday and told us he couldn’t do it right away.
Homes are time consuming but I think the whole process is worth it.

Reply
1. Rob's Surf Report says:
  
  January 16, 2014 at 11:01 pm
  
  You’re probably right, I’m just sick of not knowing for sure what to say about the water heater thing, but I guess it sounded like he knew what I was talking about, so that makes one of us. Here’s to the experts: real men of genius!
  
  Reply
Tiare Meegan says:

January 16, 2014 at 3:42 pm

Honestly, having been there, it will get done and it will be a distant memory soon enough. Its a bit of a slog, but its worth it. Good Luck, and keep at it!

Reply
1. Rob's Surf Report says:
  
  January 16, 2014 at 11:03 pm
  
  Yeah, you get it; thanks, Tiare!
  
  Reply
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knace says:

January 16, 2014 at 7:24 pm

Growing up in a military family we moved every couple of years or so and I could never understand why mom would be so irritable. That’s because I had no idea of all the little nitnoid details and complications that moving a household entailed. And now…I totally understand. =) Sending good new house vibes your way!

Reply
1. Rob's Surf Report says:
  
  January 16, 2014 at 11:08 pm
  
  Thanks! Yeah, even on the male side of it, it’s a huge pain between all the grunt work and the logistics and shelling out money left and right, until you realize that it’s all over and life is suddenly too slow for your taste . . . I need to start running again. 🙂
  
  Reply
Cimmorene says:

January 16, 2014 at 9:28 pm

I remember when we first bought our house. We’ve been here three and a half years now and there’s still a lot that needs to be done to fix it. Little by little is the watchword we use when it comes to that. Anyway, have fun in your new house.

Reply
1. Rob's Surf Report says:
  
  January 16, 2014 at 11:08 pm
  
  Thank you. 🙂
  
  Reply
  1. jaklumen says:
    
    January 17, 2014 at 12:03 am
    
    She’s right, you know… I wish you all the best in your house search, Rob.
    
    Reply
    1. Rob's Surf Report says:
      
      January 17, 2014 at 5:23 am
      
      and thank you, Jaklumen. 🙂
      
      Reply
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Mishe says:

January 17, 2014 at 2:11 pm

Enjoyed your post. Isn’t that what life is? Desire: getting so close and then longing for it because you didn’t achieve it or achieving it and then, once that desire it fulfilled, another one takes its place, with even more urgency and need. Good luck with the house! Don’t forget to breathe and take time out to practice your surfing skills. Best wishes from Europe!

Reply
1. Rob's Surf Report says:
  
  January 17, 2014 at 2:17 pm
  
  Thank you Mishe, you are right. Just need to breathe. When next-day delivery becomes ten days out, it’s time to just breathe . . .
  
  Reply
helen meikle's scribblefest says:

January 17, 2014 at 3:50 pm

selling/buying/moving house is about half way down Holmes and Rahe’s stress list. Don’t know why it isn’t at the top.

Reply
1. Rob's Surf Report says:
  
  January 17, 2014 at 4:02 pm
  
  Right? I mean, it beats getting the death sentence, but it ought to be higher than middle!
  
  Reply
tishmoon says:

March 6, 2014 at 7:07 am

Hey, Rob, congrats on the new house ! =) I trust that the laundry situation has been handled by now and you guys are settling in quite nicely. =) I love the “whiskey and shoulder-punching”, reminds me of how many insignificant things I do on a daily basis, as all us humans must. =) Good luck with the new abode…

Reply
1. Rob's Surf Report says:
  
  March 7, 2014 at 5:44 am
  
  Thanks, and thank you for hitting the “wayback” button, that doesn’t happen nearly often enough. We’re fairly well settled at this point, though we look around and see all the stuff we have yet to do – kitchen floor and counters, upstairs bathroom floor, replumb the clawfoot tub, new fixture and shower hardware for that are here but not installed, all the carpet will be removed from the premises, all the wallpaper will be stripped, the plastered over wainscoting (oh god, why??) underneath has to be replaced with drywall, removing the shower stall from the main floor bathroom . . . you get the point, I think; this response could take all day!
  
  Reply
tishmoon says:

March 7, 2014 at 5:47 am

Your list is exhausting to read, let alone accomplish… but how AESOME that must feel to scratch things off your list one at a time, and see the tangible results right in front of you ! =) Ooh, claw footed tub ?! Yes, officially jealous. =)

Reply
1. Rob's Surf Report says:
  
  March 7, 2014 at 5:57 am
  
  Yeah, I even said “we’re going to pay how much to reglaze it? Can’t we just buy a new one?”
  
  Then up came the logistical considerations of getting it out . . .
  
  Reply
tishmoon says:

March 7, 2014 at 6:00 am

Ah, the joys of home ownership… cannot imagine trying to finagle a huge old tub thru doorways. You could just push it thru the wall and then install some pretty french doors in the resulting hole, all that added light… ! =)

Reply
1. Rob's Surf Report says:
  
  March 7, 2014 at 6:02 am
  
  no no it’s upstairs! lol more like a balcony! 🙂
  
  Reply
tishmoon says:

March 7, 2014 at 6:05 am

Ooh, and you could line it with flowers and if you get really creative, you could put in a small pool directly underneath, and then could run and jump… !

Reply
1. Rob's Surf Report says:
  
  March 7, 2014 at 10:02 pm
  
  That’s going to be a deep pool!!
  
  Reply
  1. tishmoon says:
    
    March 8, 2014 at 8:05 am
    
    Yep… you can put on scuba gear and lay on the bottom, gazing up thru the water at the cloud filled sky. =)
    
    Reply
    1. Rob's Surf Report says:
      
      March 8, 2014 at 2:28 pm
      
      Sounds like an adventure. 🙂
      
      Reply
      1. tishmoon says:
        
        March 8, 2014 at 2:36 pm
        
        I’m SAYIN’ !!!!! =)
        
        Reply