Regarding Those Friends Who See Through You to Something Better:

Have you ever tried to not hear the truth?

(Photo credit: 22nyharborparks)

Of course, truth is subjective – one person’s truth may not translate to truth in another person’s reality due to a failure to achieve parity with said reality, but in the commonly–accepted continuum there exists a finite set of truths, some of which happen to be very personal to you – and some people may have had the nerve – the audacity, even! – to point them out to you.

You hated hearing it, but you could not escape its truth; why can’t our foibles resist the chance to make their intrusive incursions at a time when we are least prepared to hear them?

I’ve had plenty of these instances in my time. I used to take them hard, because they come off as criticizing – but there came a time when I started to strive for self-improvement, and seeing this, my friend Kevin took the opportunity to point them out as they came along: I always had to be right; I always had to have the last word; I often complained for recreational purposes (referred to as “bi***ing to hear myself bi***”); I was terrible at dealing with changes in routine. He brought me so far out of my comfort zone that I was able to see just how small and restrictive it really was.

How did I get to be such a neurotic mess?

Today is not the day for playing the blame game, Rob.

Truth or Consequences
(Photo credit: kxlly)

I remember one time; every time I said anything at all, Kevin’s response was the same: “you’re wrong.” “You’re wrong, Rob.” Did I want to punch him in his smug little nose? Of course – for a few minutes. As any smart person faced with a futile situation would do, I finally gave up after several more attempts than I should have made in the first place.

Then, in the stillness of my mind and the silence in the room, I thought that maybe I didn’t have all the answers; maybe there was room to perpetually seek them in a humble spirit. Maybe it was okay to not know.

I mean, it’s like science – if we managed to find the answers to everything, we would master the Universe, but at what cost? What do we seek when there’s nothing left to find?

Somehow Kevin knew what needed to be done, and he was brave and audacious enough to pull it off. Sometimes I miss hanging out with him; I used to say, “philosophize with me, Kev.” We would have these deep discussions and I would never fail to come away changed, a different person; who needs mind-altering substances with friends like these?

At a time when I needed it most, yet least wanted to hear it, he was there tell me how it really was.

Has there been someone like that in your life?

This post was prompted by today’s Daily Post prompt.


  1. This is such a profound post….so many times in my life i have had (namely two friends and one doctor) who have been TRUE friends…not afraid of stepping on toes in an attempt to truly help me…that is friendship…that is love.
    For the first time in my life I am in a relationship where honesty ,opinions and suggestions of perspective are encouraged…and not treated with defensive reaction .
    Its something that I never saw happening in my life, something I truly love and welcome and something I am grateful for daily.
    Rob this is a beautiful, thoughtful post…i’m not sure if you realize how profound your word are….this post has the capability to change lives
    Well done brother.
    I was thinking…i believe I told you every june I help produce the biggest music festival in Texas…( i know a few headliners for this year already, its secret…id have to email) …i would love if you and the fam would consider being my guest….look up FPSF or free press summer fest on wikipedia for a better idea….and consider it for a bit:)
    Much love.

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