I can see
running to the edge —
A surprising amount of life comprises the age old question, “who am I?”
Even when we think we aren’t looking for the answer, we are subconsciously feeding the question. Changes of pace, changes of routine — trying something new, moving away from old preferences and ways and things . . . These are indicative of the exploratory nature of the human creature in the never-ending struggle to define oneself.
We’ve covered the face of the planet, probing down into the depths of the ocean and branching out into space, setting foot on the Moon and sending robot scouts to Mars; and do you think we are really exploring the Universe?
Or are we exploring ourselves? Asking “who are we, what is this thing we call the human race, and how do we define it?”
Knowing this, at the same time I feel like something is wrong with me when I realize how many things I’ve started and then stopped doing, like I’m some kind of a quitter. Bookbinding? Not anymore. Knitting? Here and there, but not so much right now. Blogging? Trying to get back in the habit. Guitar? For the first time in years I can say “yes, I’m doing that,” thanks to Rocksmith 2014, the video game that lets me plug my real guitar in and then teaches me to play songs.
I feel like something of a hobby-hoarder. I think next year I ought to find new ways to define myself and new experiences with which I can put myself and the Universe in context. The ironic thing is, that puts more things in danger of being on the “done it / dropped it” list, but I don’t mind that so much.
I do this in the spirit of adventure.