Author: Rob's Surf Report

Rob lives near the geographical center of the North American continent with his wife, daughters, and one very needy cat. Most days he's a member of the law enforcement community, and tries to keep himself sane by making himself both stronger and more creative. His big plan is to find a way back to the coast and to stay there for good so he can surf the livelong day.

>Gone Apple

>I’ve gone Apple. In fact, this is me typing my blog entry on my new iPad. I don’t think that I’m going to be able to post pictures unless I have my links all written down, but this is much cooler than trying to do it on my phone. Plus, the 6th-generation iPod Nano is something else. Problem number one: iTunes is giving me some kind of attitude about importing a whole bunch of my music. I need to fix that so that I can get the rest of my surf and gypsy music.

>012: A book for a wedding present

>

012

Note: this was originally posted as 011, but I realized that I had been slacking and forgot to post about the actual 011, which is light years cooler than this pink zebrosity. More news to follow this weekend.
My sister asked me to make a book for a wedding present for one of her friends, and I have delivered the quality. This is the first book I will have sold, and I had to charge a little bit more because I had to pass on the cost of shipping the lovely, eye-scalding cover paper (which was hard to find in the first place.) It’s another stab-bound journal in pink and black, with a 5.5″ x 8.5″ all-purpose paper textblock. The cover is pink and black zebra-stripe paper from some scrapbook designer collection, and the book features a pink vellum flyleaf both in the front and back, a pink/black tassel bookmark (I have to figure out how they hide the knot on a tassel,) and a pink/black closure, braided single-strand-style with a charm on the end. Here are a few pictures!

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>A Disturbingly Distracting Confluence of Philosophy and Percy Shelley

>Here is a forum post I made to my Composition III class today, on the poem and analysis we were assigned to post a paragraph on. Obviously, I had a lot to say about it because it literally blew my mind, and this is where the distracting confluence of philosophy and Percy Shelley comes into play. The actual text from the textbook has been copied and pasted from their website below my post, for the purposes of context.

Thesis, organization, the bright man’s dilemma:

     Stephanie Huff’s thesis is a strong one. It doesn’t stand alone, but consists of more than the clause pointed out on page 146; the entire introduction paragraph serves as an in-depth analysis of Shelley’s poem, as all good theses are meant to do. It describes in perfect, summary detail the interpretation which Huff has chosen to take away from the poem. She begins by explaining the purpose of the poem: it “introduces us to a bleak world that exists behind veils and shadows.” She then lays out her interpretation in a nutshell in the next sentence. She then points out in the last sentence, the second clause of which is identified as the thesis statement, the purpose and methods which the author employed to bring about this interpretation in her mind. The purpose: to address the absence of truth, to “expose the counterfeit nature of our world.” The means: the use of “metaphors of grim distortion and radiant incandescence” Here, the mechanics of Huff’s analysis are laid bare without the benefit of her philosophical prose – she has chosen to assert that the point of Shelley’s poem was to call out the false nature of the world we perceive through the use of two metaphors which are repeated throughout its scant – yet sufficient – fourteen lines.

     The thesis is well-supported as she focuses on the metaphors of grim distortion. The following two paragraphs refer to the “painted veil” and the “unreal shapes” which are seen through it. Then she addresses the function and method of reality, depicted in Shelley’s poem as mimicry using “colours idly spread.” She moves on to the final grim metaphor, the fear and hope that are obscured as mere shadows. Then, in parallel with the poem, Huff addresses the single ray of hope which is threatened with extinguishment in Shelley’s gloomy landscape: the one who “is portrayed with metaphors of light.” She shows how the metaphors of his “lost heart,” his “splendour among shadows,” and his status as “a bright blot. . . [u]pon [a] gloomy scene” are important in the context of the piece. She then describes his position as tenuous, which indeed it seems to be after reading her interpretation. Her final line is, as it should be, a simple restatement of the thesis. One more time, she asserts that these metaphors reveal the counterfeit nature of the world.

     As much as a tear-down of Stephanie Huff’s analysis reveals the building-block nature of her organization and how it lends strength to her thesis, these things are not so obvious in a single reading because they’re finished off with the profundity of her philosophical interpretation. She says of the bright man: “[t]his one person, though bright, is not. . . enough to. . . create real change. The light simply confirms the dark falsity that comprises the rest of the world.” Her interpretation of the bright man, then, comes to us in terms of some of the oldest philosophical questions in recorded history: what is good? What is evil? Could evil exist without good? Might it be true to say that there must be at least a grain of goodness which defines the opposite of evil, that we may know evil? This is an old argument, and Huff points out that Shelley has taken it and turned it around, focusing not on the bit of evil that must exist in order for humanity to understand what is good; but, in Shelley’s view, the bit of truth that must exist in order for humanity to understand the chasm of falsity that exists in the world. The bright man’s existence, then, must be guaranteed for the sake of all existence, and yet nonetheless he is always endangered; for him to be swallowed up is the end of existence itself as everything becomes false. The bright man’s death is the death of all.

The following text has been reprinted without permission from the companion website to the Norton Field Guide to Writing, 2nd Edition, at http://www.wwnorton.com/college/english/write/fieldguide/model_essays.asp#10. Please don’t sue me.

Literary Analysis
PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY
Sonnet: “Lift Not the Painted Veil
Which Those Who Live”
Lift not the painted veil which those who live
Call Life: though unreal shapes be pictured there,
And it but mimic all we would believe
With colours idly spread,—behind, lurk Fear
And Hope, twin Destinies; who ever weave 5
Their shadows, o’er the chasm, sightless and drear.
I knew one who had lifted it—he sought,
For his lost heart was tender, things to love,
But found them not, alas! nor was there aught
The world contains, the which he could approve. 10
Through the unheeding many he did move,
A splendour among shadows, a bright blot
Upon this gloomy scene, a Spirit that strove
For truth, and like the Preacher found it not.

STEPHANIE HUFF
Metaphor and Society in Shelley’s “Sonnet”
In his sonnet “Lift not the painted veil which those who live,” Percy Bysshe Shelley introduces us to a bleak world that exists behind veils and shadows. We see that although fear and hope both exist, truth is dishearteningly absent. This absence of truth is exactly what Shelley chooses to address as he uses metaphors of grim distortion and radiant incandescence to expose the counterfeit nature of our world.

The speaker of Shelley’s poem presents bold assertions about the nature of our society. In the opening lines of the poem, he warns the reader to “Lift not the painted veil which those who live / Call Life” (1–2). Here, the “painted veil” serves as a grim metaphor for life. More specifically, the speaker equates the veil with what people like to call life. In this sense, the speaker asserts that what we believe to be pure reality is actually nothing more than a covering that masks what really lies beneath. Truth is covered by a veil of falsehood and is made opaque with the paint of people’s lies.

This painted veil does not completely obstruct our view, but rather distorts what we can see. All that can be viewed through it are “unreal shapes” (2) that metaphorically represent the people that make up this counterfeit society. These shapes are not to be taken for truth. They are unreal, twisted, deformed figures of humanity, people full of falsities and misrepresentations.

Most people, however, do not realize that the shapes and images seen through the veil are distorted because all they know of life is the veil—this life we see as reality only “mimic[s] all we would believe” (3), using “colours idly spread” (4) to create pictures that bear little resemblance to that which they claim to portray. All pure truths are covered up and painted over until they are mere mockeries. The lies that cloak the truth are not even carefully constructed, but are created idly, with little attention to detail. The paint is not applied carefully, but merely spread across the top. This idea of spreading brings to mind images of paint slopped on so heavily that the truth beneath becomes nearly impossible to find. Even the metaphor of color suggests only superficial beauty—”idly spread” (4)—rather than any sort of pure beauty that could penetrate the surface of appearances.

What really lies behind this facade are fear and hope, both of which “weave / Their shadows, o’er the chasm, sightless and drear” (5–6). These two realities are never truly seen or experienced, though. They exist only as shadows. Just as shadows appear only at certain times of day, cast only sham images of what they reflect, and are paid little attention, so too do these emotions of hope and fear appear only as brief, ignored imitations of themselves when they enter the artificiality of this chasmlike world. Peering into a chasm, one cannot hope to make out what lies at the bottom. At best one could perhaps make out shadows and even that cannot be done with any certainty as to true appearance. The world is so large, so caught up in itself and its counterfeit ways, that it can no longer see even the simple truths of hope and fear. Individuals and civilizations have become sightless, dreary, and as enormously empty as a chasm.

This chasm does not include all people, however, as we are introduced to one individual, in line 7, who is trying to bring to light whatever truth may yet remain. This one person, who defies the rest of the world, is portrayed with metaphors of light, clearly standing out among the dark representations of the rest of mankind. He is first presented to us as possessing a “lost heart” (8) and seeking things to love. It is important that the first metaphor applied to him be a heart because this is the organ with which we associate love, passion, and purity. We associate it with brightness of the soul, making it the most radiant spot of the body. He is then described as a “splendour among shadows” (12), his purity and truth brilliantly shining through the darkness of the majority’s falsehood. Finally, he is equated with “a bright blot / Upon this gloomy scene” (12–13), his own bright blaze of authenticity burning in stark contrast to the murky phoniness of the rest of the world.

These metaphors of light are few, however, in comparison to those of grim distortion. So, too, are this one individual’s radiance and zeal too little to alter the warped darkness they temporarily pierce. This one person, though bright, is not bright enough to light up the rest of civilization and create real change. The light simply confirms the dark falsity that comprises the rest of the world. Shelley gives us one flame of hope, only to reveal to us what little chance it has under the suffocating veil. Both the metaphors of grim distortion and those of radiant incandescence work together in this poem to highlight the world’s counterfeit nature.

Huff focuses her analysis on patterns in Shelley’s imagery. In addition, she pays careful attention to individual words and to how, as the poem unfolds, they create a certain meaning. That meaning is her interpretation.

>Two more books after a little dry spell

>Well, I just made two more books in the last week, 009 and 010. This is after I sat around making exactly zero books for about a month, kicking myself for not finding the time to work on this, and now it seems I have come back a little bit, a little more inspired. Maybe.

009 is a little recycled bag affair I put together using brown paper bags from Cashwise and Central Market. Honestly, that’s really the only recycling involved with the book, but it saved about ten plastic bags from being used, so huzzah! I reinforced the hinges with strips of cloth cut from a black t-shirt and originally they were too tight, so I had to cut the covers apart and re-hinge them. I thought I would just give up right there, and then I had the brilliant idea of giving the book the quarter-leather look, except instead of leather I would use brown paper and then I wouldn’t have to re-do both the covers entirely. It worked like a charm. The hinges are still a tad bit tight, so I could go a little more liberally on them in the future, but the overall look is good and I’m satisfied. 009 is stab-bound with hemp (which I didn’t wax, but probably will in the future) and features a button-and-cord closure (my inspiration from the interdepartmental delivery envelopes at work) using a single metal button and a piece of waxed hemp affixed to holes drilled through the covers. I’ve read that the brown paper bags can be ironed flat; I think I will try that out next time, because I already have enough bags to make another one, and I know for a fact that pressing the pages doesn’t flatten them. Enough jibber-jabber – here’s the photos:

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010 is my first leather-bound journal, I made it in about two hours last night while I was watching Return to Oz and by the time the movie was over, I was putting things away and the book was being pressed by a book topped with two twenty-pound dumbbells. I decided to do something different and less complex than anything else I have seen on the web: I stab-bound it. The cover, which was reclaimed from an old leather jacket I got for free, was cut and the pages were cut and stacked, the text block was knocked up, clipped, and drilled, and then I wrapped the cover around the text block with the binder clips still on it. Then I waxed up some black floss and started to sew the cover on. The wrinkling around the spine was precisely what I was going for, but I needed to go in a straight line while I was sewing the cover to the text block to ensure that the covers would lie flat. It worked out pretty good, and I cut tabs into the ends of the covers where the binding goes around the top and bottom of the book to give the spine a little wraparound kind of look. Then I glued some cardstock inside the covers just to give them a bit of stiffness and pressed the book overnight. It looks great, but I’m thinking of adding some kind of closure, which can be sewn in. That’s that. Here’s the book, in all its visual glory:

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>A few more journals

>I’ve finished a couple more journals; see the pictures below. The first three show one that I just finished this morning (008,) using the single-needle coptic chain stitch. This was my first attempt, and the only thing I need to remember is to give myself more length on the thread next time. I figured with six binding stations, six lengths would be sufficient (that is, roughly six times the height of the book.) I got all the way to the last hole in the back cover before I had to tie on just a little bit more, and that was annoying because you can’t just tie waxed floss and pull it through a hole in a signature. I got it, though. Mental note: one extra length next time!

The coptic chain stitch is weird, because if the stitches are too tight, the signatures begin to get crammed-in like crooked teeth, but if they’re too loose then the book is too loose and that’s just undesirable. Sigh. It does make for a neat-looking spine, though.

The last picture in this series shows two paper-bound journals I created, the little one (006) in just a couple of hours and the other one (007) over two nights. 007 is a chopstick journal, but I cut off the tapered end of the chopstick to make my job easier. The resulting pamphlet/journal is shorter than a chopstick (duh) but looks good nonetheless.

Actually, 006 and 007 are also my first attempts at trimming the rough edge of the book block (the pages tend to form a point in the middle of each signature, giving the fore-edge a sawtooth look, which is often trimmed flat in mass-production books.) I used a rotary trimmer and got something less than what I desired, but it was still much more flat. I think I could really use a better tool for that.

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>Not so secret anymore, is it?

>I finished journal 005 late last night, using the secret Belgian binding method. It was a great success, and I picked up a couple of tips: 1, bookbinding thread stinks. I’m switching to embroidery floss as an all-purpose binding thread. 2, always, always use an even number of binding stations. 3, blue masking tape will leave stickum, and can tear paper if you’re not careful. The thing I like most about this design is how the covers can flip around like a trick wallet. In the last picture, the front cover is flipped over with the very first page facing. This design could sell quite easily, I think.

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>My first few books

>Here’s a report on the first few journals I’ve finished binding.

001: My first book was a learning experience. I used too much glue, I’m afraid, and I rushed through it with the end result that the cover corners are really half-a**ed and there are hard spots on the microfiber cover where the glue bled through. I just wanted to get the first one out of the way, and it’s the only attempt i’ve made so far at a three-piece “adhesive” cover (the hard bit) and sewn signatures (the easy bit.) I use this journal now as a sketch and idea journal, since it’s good enough for me – nobody in their right mind would have paid even the material cost for it.

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002: I made 002 for Karisa as a birthiversary gift, and so at this time I can’t describe it or post pictures of it. I’ll come back and do that later.

003: 003 is my second stab-bound journal, and came out very nicely. It’s sort of a tall, thin journal with a paper-bound spine and red/black binding. This is the first one I’ve made that I plan to sell someday. Japanese stab binding is inexpensive, easy, and quick. I could make at least a book a day this way.

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004: 004 is another stab-bound book; for this one I used a shifty-blue binding thread and made the spine and hinges at the top. Or it can be short and fat, if you prefer (I meant for the spine to be at the top, but who’s to tell you how you use your journal, right?)

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That’s all of my journals so far, save 002. My next attempt is a more ambitious one: I will be attempting the so-called secret Belgian binding method, so-called because when it was discovered it was said to have been the trade secret of a single binder. If all goes well, I will have something to post about it.

>Looking for materials.

>I’m trying to get my hands on some neat postcards for a journal design that I would like to make. If anyone would be interested in helping me out, please get a cool stamp and put it on a cool postcard and send it to me.

Rob Ross
304 6th Ave NW
Apt 4
Mandan, ND 58554

If you do, I’ll thank you with all my heart in a future blog post!

>What’s in an expiration date?

>    I’m getting fed up with my milk going bad way before the expiration date. For example, I bought this half-gallon of Cass Clay milk less than a week ago. . . say, Monday. The expiration date is July 5th, and yet this morning it has gone sour and I can’t drink it. What’s the deal with that?
    Now, it’s not like I’m a huge cereal man or anything (I have had Kellogg’s Pops on the brain lately – I’ve been resisting “that urge.”) but I do drink milk every day. Every morning when I’m in the mood to eat I have my usual breakfast, and it’s pretty much protein. Two large, salted boiled egg whites, two slices of Bar-S turkey lunchmeat, two spoonfuls of peanut butter, and a short glass of milk. I use the milk to wash down a Claritin, a Centrum, and two Tums.
    You might think, “well, that’s not a lot of milk.” You’re right. It’s about eight ounces, and there’s about eight times that much in the half gallon. I threw out half of that this morning, so I got milk on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. . . yep, that’s it. Sometimes Karisa has cereal, so I stopped buying smaller quantities of milk because I don’t want to buy milk every other day, but it’s starting to look like that’s my only choice. Why even bother putting an expiration date on the milk if I can’t trust it?
    Right now, that expiration date means very little to me. Could this problem be attributable to my refrigerator? Perhaps. I do have it set to its coldest setting, and I have yet to freeze anything in there. Maybe there’s an uber-cold zone in the fridge that I have yet to identify. Our fridge is a cheap little thing, if you ask me. It’s nice, and it’s new – but it just doesn’t seem like a “sturdy” fridge, when you look at it. Maybe that’s what it is.

>A New Type of Discrimination

>    Every week, on NPR’s Planet Money podcast, they start the show with an “indicator.” This is a number that means something; it might be big, or it might be small, but it has something to do with the show’s topic, which is money.

    Today, I’m starting this blog post off with an indicator. That’s right, it’s a Rob’s Surf Report indicator and it is twenty-nine (29.) Twenty-nine is the score I received on the Autism Spectrum Quotient Test, designed in 2001 by psychopathology professor Simon Baron-Cohen (coincidentally, he’s Borat actor Sascha Baron-Cohen’s cousin.)
    The theory is that autism can be gauged on a continuum; or rather, that everyone is more or less autistic. If you’re interested in knowing your score, head on over to Wired Magazine and take five to ten minutes to answer this fifty-questionnaire in degrees of agreement (agree completely, agree somewhat, etc. . . ) and it will calculate your AQ, or Autism Quotient. If you’re considered “normal,” you’ll score somewhere in the neighborhood of sixteen. People diagnosed with autism average a score of thirty-two.
    It turns out that what being more (or less) autistic really means to a normally-functioning person is that it identifies your balance of intelligence to social skill. People who score high and never, ever thought of themselves as autistic are probably highly intelligent and yet somewhat lacking in social skills – i.e., to some degree they’re withdrawn, introverted, and find it difficult (but not impossible) to make new friends or figure out what other people are feeling. Does this sound like the typical high school nerd? Is that a weird coincidence, or what?
    If you score high, don’t feel bad about yourself. Life didn’t deal you a harsh blow. But can the same thing be said of society?

    Take another look at the test. Does it look at all familiar to you, even vaguely? If you’ve been on a job hunt anytime in the past decade, you might have answered several questionnaires that bear a striking resemblance to this one.

    Here comes the rant.

    Is it any coincidence that there is a significant uptick of automated employee vetting machines around the same time that this questionnaire was published? Or is it, in fact, true that as soon as employers heard about this, they wanted to make sure they had the most socially adept people on their side? This looks to me like companies have profited by selling a system to potential employers that discriminates against people based on something that is beyond one’s control.
    It’s true that I have never received a job offer after taking one of these tests. You have to take one in order to apply for a job with many retailers, and I’ve always thought that was unfair because it never gave me a chance to win over a person with my confidence and my leaking surplus of elbow grease. There was no “face time” involved in the hiring process, and I always thought that it was a mistake to dump the face-to-face interview process; after all, just because you’re good with people doesn’t mean that you’re honest or hard-working, am I right?
    To me, this is no better than racial profiling. After all, it’s not fair to discriminate against someone based on their skin color, age, gender, and other features that are determined not by them, but by nature itself; why, then, is it fair to weed out people who choose to answer truthfully these questions that are posed to determine how social they are? How is it that a person who spends their work day cataloging videos and running a cash register needs to be the popular type? Do you mind being the center of attention? You’re out. Are you okay with being alone? Sorry, you’re not qualified to work for All-Mart. And doesn’t it just seem like they’re putting yet another spin on natural selection at a time when people seem to have forgotten what it is? Should we look forward to a future that looks something like the movie Idiocracy? (If you haven’t seen it, you should. It’s funny.)
    Like I said, one of the fallacies in eliminating preliminary interviews with real people from the hiring process is that they assume that personality equals hard work and honesty — so not true. Con-men are big on personality, and they make their living by cheating people. I will work harder and better than any Barbie- or Ken-doll, and I prove it each and every day. Furthermore, they’re denying paying jobs to people based on their personal preferences! Isn’t that what an employee handbook is for – laying down the rules so you have a basis for firing those that break them?
    I kicked up the drama a little bit there, I know. I’m a sensitive person. To be fair, the pre-employment personality test employs several types of questions, and each type is aimed at figuring out a different aspect of your overall personality. If you intend to be honest and are extremely intelligent, you’re going to have problems. There’s an article from eHow down below that explains the average test, the mentality behind the questions, and how to beat them at their game. 
    Let’s put it this way: personality hates intelligence for no good reason. It’s like religion and science; a few people may be able to mash them together, but the majority on either side fervently believes that the two do not mix, and they still openly discriminate against each other behind an illusion of acceptance.


How to pass the test: http://www.ehow.com/how_4446746_pass-preemployment-personality-test.html


Wikipedia article (sorry, teachers! I love my Wikipedia:) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism_spectrum_quotient

Chapter One of Steven Johnson’s Mind Wide Open was my inspiration: http://www.amazon.com/Mind-Wide-Open-Neuroscience-Everyday/dp/0743241665/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1276788376&sr=1-1